Another Christmas has come and gone here in the Southern Hemisphere, spending a sunny afternoon at the beach, blotchy red tans decorating arms and noses after sunscreens have worn off, presents unwrapped and glossy papers of gold and red tossed away like yesterday's feelings into the recycling bin.

I find practicing recovery behaviours hardest this time of year. Supposedly a glorious time of love, hope and friendship, it can also be a time of loneliness, aching sadness and fits and starts of family squabbles.

How has it been for you this year? Amidst it all, where are you? Are you taking any time out for yourself, letting the chatter in your head settle down with some 3-in, 3-out breathing, a feet on the floor, bum on the seat mediation, knowing that all you have to really concentrate on is right now?

Feelings and thoughts can be popped into a box, and wrapped up like a shiny package hidden under the tree, saved for just the right occasion, to take out and review, to process. But will you do this? Is it healthy?

Sometimes, life intervenes and we sometimes have to postpone processing that bubbling anger triggered by that constant nagging Auntie Jin does every year, "Are you married yet? God, no wonder, a scrawny thing like you....," but we do not have to continue to practice self-care, practice assertive behaviour (tact & self-care are a match made in heaven) and do what we need to do even if it involves gracefully excusing ourself from the table, heading to a room upstairs and listening to the Kinks at probably too high a volume with the Ipod tightly clutched in our hand, and Breathe..........

Then the next day comes and we ask ourselves after a good night's rest, why did Auntie's comments trigger us so? Take a few minutes and explore what happened for you at the dinner table yesterday. Call a friend or therapist if you need to. Deal with it, learn from it and move on. Don't pack those feelings and thoughts away or you might get a very unwelcome package under your tree next year.

I'm living proof that you can live with the black dog dog.   Just don't let Fido drive the bus. You have the map.

Work that recovery, guys. Reach out, get some hugs, some help, and offer some in return.

Don't go it alone.  2010 can be a better year.

With love, and have a safe and sane 2010 :)

Leisa